whatever

i'm not happy, so not happy .

i'm the one who always make u guys laugh out loud
i'm always the organizer
i'm the one who always give advice and console
i'm the one who always try to care about ya'l
l i'm the one who always say SORRY and PLEASE to you guys


i care my friendship with ya'll , but do you guys appreciate ??? huh ?! i'm really fed up sometimes. idk what can i do.
sometime i even have to BEG you all to come out , but end up 80% cancel. Or certain of you ffk.
i feel myself so... valueless .

This is so terrible , sometime i ask myself , why am i have to beg ? what's the point ? why don't i just let it be ?
Have you all ever wanted to date me out ? I wonder.

I never angry you all , even i did also just a while then after sometime i'll forget it. seriously , i'm GOOD to you guys . i always help you all to solve problem . then who help me to solve mine??
stand at my side, how would you feel if you have to always please people ? always plan something but fail to make it ? always the one who say sorry ?

Sometime even non of my business or non my fault , i wil also go make them happy , because i dont like they unhappy and show black face.


As a friends i always think that , we shouldn't be so calculative , as long as you treat your friends good will do , anything i can help just help. But now, i started to think that , am i wrong ? lesson learnt "not to care much"

i'm soft hearted , so i never angry a person more than 24hours ,i try to calm myself down and think of the bright side. As days flew by, i'm tired of it.
i said before , if there's a day i become another person / bad person , not my fault.
am not blaming you all, but blame myself , blame my attitude for being so soft hearted .

I just want a sincere friendship , but not acting acting and acting .
oh well , i'm really tired with it. i wont plan , wont organize anymore . If you guys want to hang, just call me will do. Atleast wont end up with cancel again.

有時候自己真的沒有被重視 感覺很不好受 謝謝敏敏寫給我那封信息 原來你對某人好 她們不一定會對回你好 每個人在每個人的心中都有不同的位置 不能強求別人把你放在第一位 要怪就怪自己那麼在乎，重視感情。

w h a t e v e r .


beside this , i recently found that peoples around is so terrible. Sometime i just unable to read their mind. They might be 2faces people.
Peoples always told me i'm too naive , so easy believe people .
Ya , this world full of evil peoples .

i'm simple , sometime i cant accept that myself have to be 2 faces people too , but of course if you're fake to me only i'll like this .

This world is changing... peoples around is growing...

Once again , NS life was so free from stress . i miss it.